It's certainly a crime against the comforts and indulgences of morning cures.

[Being an alcoholic makes coffee a morning addiction after scores of hangovers until it all blended together. By then, of course, it was too late! Dear coffee, forever embedded as morning routine.]

I've no preference in how I'm called. Friends call me 'Guy', professional relationships 'Burgess', and there's occasionally a relationship where I've earned a fond and endearing call of 'mad bastard.'